Saturday, May 27, 2006

My Experiments with Invisibility

When I read Amit asking what I would do if I had a fool-proof invisible cloak, I smiled. This has been right up there in the list of my all time fantasies. There has to be some slight modifications though from Amit’s version. It won’t be a cloak, it has to be some mysterious red potion in a little glass bottle. And after drinking it, I would just become invisible in a jiffy. But I would have to be totally naked or else it will be like a walking shirt and pants. And no wrist-watch, chains, shoes either. Totally stark naked!

There have been quite a few times when I really wished I had that magic red potion with me and the needs have changed during various stages of life.

Earliest memories of the desire to be invisible came after I tasted chicken puffs from K.R Bakery in my home-town. I was ten then. Well what can I tell you about chicken puffs. Now, sitting 15000 Kms away, my mouth can only water. Back then, knowing my little weakness for chicken puffs, mom used to give me Rs 8/- extra when she sent me on errands. But just one chicken puff is really really unfair. How I wish I had my little red bottle with me. Those guys in the bakery might have wondered where all the puffs are disappearing, but who cares!

Exams have always been tough. Exam season meant sleepless nights, tense days and loose motion on the day of the first paper. When you reach the school, you can see two kinds of people. Those who have mugged up the whole NCERT book from cover to cover and can rant the second line in fourth paragraph of page 183 in a moment’s notice. And those who never attended any classes, couldn’t care less and knew that they would flunk for sure. People in both of these categories had one thing in common – peace of mind. Calm, confident, composed and knowing exactly what to expect when they got the question paper. I (and a few others like me) were the exact opposite. Biting nails, cramming up whatever extra we could in the little time remaining. Having covered only 60% of the syllabus, half of which was already forgotten, we could only pray to all the gods we knew. You see, atheism was definitely not an option! How I wish I had my little red bottle with me. All I had to do was to go to Taneja Madam’s (Our Maths teacher) house, drink the potion at her doorsteps, become invisible, enter in, and sit next to her, all naked, as she prepares the question paper. Then run to Murthy Sir’s(Physics) and Bharadwaj Madam’s (English) and Naresh Sir’s (Chemistry) and finally voluptuous Vidya Madam’s (Biology).

After school came college and there have been many instances when I wished I that I had my little red bottle with me. But I will let all that pass by here. Some skeletons are better left in the cupboard.

Couple of years back, India was playing Australia in a one-dayer at Bangalore, and never having been to a one-dayer before, I badly wanted to be there at the Chinnaswamy. But all night serpentine queues outside, police lathi-charge and inability to get a pass meant skipping another chance to watch my heroes from close quarters. As I was watching the match, lying on my couch, how I wished that I had my little red bottle with me. And you know what, I wouldn’t settle for the gallery seat. Would sit right in front of the CM in the VIP enclave. Ofcourse he can see through an invisible man, right? What the heck, I would walk right into the middle of the ground (remember, naked!) and stand next to the umpire. And when I am tired standing, I would go and sit somewhere, maybe at square leg. Occasionally I would look at the screaming crowd all around, wondering what all the fuss is about. When Ricky Ponting tells McGrath to bowl a bouncer, I would run to the batting crease and whisper into Sehwag’s ears “Veeru bouncer aayega”. And when India is fielding and Dravid, Sachin, Kumble and the bowler are involved in a team meeting, I would be right there in the middle! Ah, the joys of being invisible.

It has been almost an year since I moved to US and I am missing my family – Mom, Dad and li’l sis. I can’t even go on a vacation until my visa gets renewed which means a long wait for another six months. But not if I have my little bottle of red potion with me. All I have to do is – drink it, become invisible, hop in a cab to LAX airport, get into a Cathay Pacific flight (no security checks, no immigration queues!) and within 24 hours I’ll be sitting at the dining table with my folks back home in Bangalore! I can become visible in front of them, right? My little invisible secret will be safe with them. Don’t you think?

5 Comments:

Blogger Pooja said...

Back when did "chicken puffs" in India cost Rs 8/- ?

100 yrs ago when I was a kid in a small village called TVM in Kerala, 1 "chicken puff" costed Rs. 3 only... ;)

And the exam example applies to many of us. I kept wishing I got the question paper in advance or the answer papers got destroyed or anything that would help the board exam performance or exams not happening.

"Those who have mugged up the whole NCERT book from cover to cover and can rant the second line in fourth paragraph of page 183 in a moment’s notice. And those who never attended any classes, couldn’t care less and knew that they would flunk for sure. " ha ha, true

5:36 PM  
Blogger Arnold said...

hehe.. nice post.. though i wonder whether you're more excited about being able to get the exam paper beforehand or being able to sit next to "Taneja Madam" naked! :P

7:04 AM  
Blogger Ritesh said...

cool blog man!

11:30 AM  
Blogger Happy-Go-Lucky said...

@Pooja: Hey I think it was 8 bucks in my place, there was egg puffs for 5 bucks but I didnt like it that much.

@ arnold: More than taneja, it was Vidya (the bio teacher). On second thoughts, I should have put my invisibility to better use (I mean in my imagination) ;-)

@Ritesh: Thanks dude. Do drop by once in a while.

11:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

boss..naked on the cricket field in the middle of a match can get painful if ur a guy!!!

3:23 PM  

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