Tuesday, May 30, 2006

We are Nerds. We are like this only

One friday evening, on his way back from office, Nerd # 1 loses his way and enters a strip club mistaking it for library. After three long hours, he comes out and drives back home – fast and furious. The expression on his face varying between extreme bliss and tragic agony. He rushes in home and finds Nerd # 2 debugging some C++ project on his laptop. Nerd # 1 swaggers up to him and says:

“Dude, you know there’s a world out there?”

Nerd # 2 doesn’t respond, keeps working.

“You asshole! Life is not just about C , C++”

Without lifting his head up, Nerd # 2 replies:

“Yeah I know, that’s why I have started learning C#”

For all you nerds out there, all is not lost yet. There is hope.

PS : Thanks Sankar(Nerd # 2), for this nerdy inspiration.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

My Experiments with Invisibility

When I read Amit asking what I would do if I had a fool-proof invisible cloak, I smiled. This has been right up there in the list of my all time fantasies. There has to be some slight modifications though from Amit’s version. It won’t be a cloak, it has to be some mysterious red potion in a little glass bottle. And after drinking it, I would just become invisible in a jiffy. But I would have to be totally naked or else it will be like a walking shirt and pants. And no wrist-watch, chains, shoes either. Totally stark naked!

There have been quite a few times when I really wished I had that magic red potion with me and the needs have changed during various stages of life.

Earliest memories of the desire to be invisible came after I tasted chicken puffs from K.R Bakery in my home-town. I was ten then. Well what can I tell you about chicken puffs. Now, sitting 15000 Kms away, my mouth can only water. Back then, knowing my little weakness for chicken puffs, mom used to give me Rs 8/- extra when she sent me on errands. But just one chicken puff is really really unfair. How I wish I had my little red bottle with me. Those guys in the bakery might have wondered where all the puffs are disappearing, but who cares!

Exams have always been tough. Exam season meant sleepless nights, tense days and loose motion on the day of the first paper. When you reach the school, you can see two kinds of people. Those who have mugged up the whole NCERT book from cover to cover and can rant the second line in fourth paragraph of page 183 in a moment’s notice. And those who never attended any classes, couldn’t care less and knew that they would flunk for sure. People in both of these categories had one thing in common – peace of mind. Calm, confident, composed and knowing exactly what to expect when they got the question paper. I (and a few others like me) were the exact opposite. Biting nails, cramming up whatever extra we could in the little time remaining. Having covered only 60% of the syllabus, half of which was already forgotten, we could only pray to all the gods we knew. You see, atheism was definitely not an option! How I wish I had my little red bottle with me. All I had to do was to go to Taneja Madam’s (Our Maths teacher) house, drink the potion at her doorsteps, become invisible, enter in, and sit next to her, all naked, as she prepares the question paper. Then run to Murthy Sir’s(Physics) and Bharadwaj Madam’s (English) and Naresh Sir’s (Chemistry) and finally voluptuous Vidya Madam’s (Biology).

After school came college and there have been many instances when I wished I that I had my little red bottle with me. But I will let all that pass by here. Some skeletons are better left in the cupboard.

Couple of years back, India was playing Australia in a one-dayer at Bangalore, and never having been to a one-dayer before, I badly wanted to be there at the Chinnaswamy. But all night serpentine queues outside, police lathi-charge and inability to get a pass meant skipping another chance to watch my heroes from close quarters. As I was watching the match, lying on my couch, how I wished that I had my little red bottle with me. And you know what, I wouldn’t settle for the gallery seat. Would sit right in front of the CM in the VIP enclave. Ofcourse he can see through an invisible man, right? What the heck, I would walk right into the middle of the ground (remember, naked!) and stand next to the umpire. And when I am tired standing, I would go and sit somewhere, maybe at square leg. Occasionally I would look at the screaming crowd all around, wondering what all the fuss is about. When Ricky Ponting tells McGrath to bowl a bouncer, I would run to the batting crease and whisper into Sehwag’s ears “Veeru bouncer aayega”. And when India is fielding and Dravid, Sachin, Kumble and the bowler are involved in a team meeting, I would be right there in the middle! Ah, the joys of being invisible.

It has been almost an year since I moved to US and I am missing my family – Mom, Dad and li’l sis. I can’t even go on a vacation until my visa gets renewed which means a long wait for another six months. But not if I have my little bottle of red potion with me. All I have to do is – drink it, become invisible, hop in a cab to LAX airport, get into a Cathay Pacific flight (no security checks, no immigration queues!) and within 24 hours I’ll be sitting at the dining table with my folks back home in Bangalore! I can become visible in front of them, right? My little invisible secret will be safe with them. Don’t you think?

Thursday, May 25, 2006

If you want to have a good laugh in the morning…

…read news! Don’t believe me? Check these out…

India, Pakistan fail to break ice on Siachen

And we thought the two armies were fighting on world’s highest battlefield. Mind you, breaking all that ice atop those mountains can be quite daunting. Why don’t they try some advanced german ice-breaking machines.


Baccha log, don’t click on the link below. Others, you need to say “I am over 18” loudly when you click on it.

Neha Dhupia's wardrobe malfunction in Utthaan

I didn’t hear you saying that. Never mind. Now we know those guys at sify.com know how to use MS Paint. Noticed the red circle? Saw anything else? Because I didn’t. Despos!


Now read this

What cost him a sexy night with actress...

Such a looser of a guy. Now that’s such a stupid thing to do. No seriously!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

The Wonder Years (Childhood Files – Part 01)

I was in first grade and this friend of mine tells me about this absolutely fascinating thing called magnet. I don’t remember his name, actually he wasn’t a great friend, just a classmate who happens to sit behind me in class. I was totally hooked on to this cool new thing even before I had seen it.

“You mean it can stick onto anything?”

“Yeah! Most of the things, but somethings like wood don’t stick”

“Can I see it?”

“I have two of those, I can give you one”

“Wow! Thanks!”

“But what will you give me in return?”

I didn’t know what to say. Cunning guy, he must be a deal-broker now. I thought for a moment and then said:

“I have a car.”

“What color is it?”

“Its big and blue and red. It goes in circles and lights start flashing. And its foreign.”

“Foreign matlab?”

“I don’t know, but my uncle gave me. Mom said he’s also foreign.”

“O.K come to the park in the evening with the car. I will give you the magnet there.”

Later that afternoon, when I told my parents about my deal, they were visibly upset. I don’t exactly remember what dad said to mom, but it was something to this effect:

“Looks like he’s got your genes”

Mom was more considerate.

“Look Beta, this car is foreign and your uncle has brought it to you from Kuwait. You don’t give away such expensive things for a silly magnet”

Silly magnet? Do they even know what a magnet is? It sticks onto anything! And I am so bored of this car, I don’t need it anymore.

But being the meek that I was, I didn’t protest. Dad said that he’ll get me a magnet but I knew he wont. Two months back he had promised a cricket bat with Kapil Dev’s photo on it. I am still waiting.

But surprise of surprises! He did bring one! The next afternoon, I was just lying on the bed. He came into the room with a smile on his face, took something from his pocket and threw onto the bed. It was big, black, round and it had got dad’s keys stuck on it. Wow! It really can stick things.

I stuck it on the iron rod of the mosquito net above and Voila! It stuck up there!
Magnet really sticks!
If you don’t vote…

While driving back from lunch, this interesting bumper sticker caught my eyes:

"If you don’t vote, people like Bush become presidents"

Bumper stickers are not that popular in India yet. Wonder which neta’s name would be there when that happens. Manmohan? Naah…he’s too nice to be hated. Keeping in mind the current mood, there’s one and only one candidate – Arjun Singh! What? You already guessed it? Sorry no marks for guessing that.

Monday, May 22, 2006

The Da Vinci Code - Strictly OK

Watched The Da Vinci Code last Friday, yup, caught it first day – first show! I am not gonna do a full-fledged review here but will just pass my thoughts on it. I havn’t read the book and all the popularity, best-seller tag, hype and hoopla associated with it definitely increased my curiosity in the movie, and coming from Ron Howard who has given wonderful movies like Apollo 13, A Beautiful Mind, Far and Away and with Tom Hanks as lead, I knew I was not gonna miss this one.

I have to say, the movie disappointed me. Its not that bad, but its not that great either. I felt like I was watching a treasure hunt game with a few villains thrown in. For those who havn’t read the book, the story goes something like this – The opening scene shows the murder of the curator of the Louvre Museum (the one with Mona Lisa) in Paris and Dr. Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks), Professor of Religious Symbology at Harvard University is summoned to solve this murder mystery. Before dying, the curator has written some cryptic text and numbers on the floor. His granddaughter, Sophie Neveu(Audrey Tautou) is a cryptologist and she is also in the case. The rest of the story is how Langdon and Sophie go about solving the puzzle left behind by her grandfather. The links leads them to Scotland and England .They are chased all the way by cops, who suspect Langdon for the murder, and enemies trying to prevent them from finding out the secret which they believe will have deep impact on the standings of the church.

In my opinion the basic problem is the attempt to squeeze in the long series of clues into a two-and-half hour movie. There were quite a few missing links(or did I sleep in between :-D) and the ease with which Langdon solves some of the puzzles was just not convincing. Performance-wise I think Tom Hanks was simply too good. His part was very convincing. Paul Bettany as Silas also deserves special mention. The rest were just OK. Jean Reno(Yes, how can he not be there in a movie set in France) didn’t have anything significant. French actress Audrey Tautou is so and so.

All in all, go watch if you loved the book or really wanna watch it. You wont miss anything even if you wont.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Hmm…Then finally I have created a blog. Took a long time to get a URL. I wanted a unique, different sounding name which kind of stands for what I intend to write here. Well right now I have no idea what exactly I am going to blog or even whether I’ll have the time or rather will power to regularly put my thoughts into words and post it here. Put my thoughts into words.. yeah that’s what it will be.

So I will just ramble along about the stuff which amuse me and that I feel will interest others. Kinda weird thought considering the stuff that goes through my mind at different times. Anyways, here we go…

Happy bloggin to me and hope you enjoy reading…